RAWR said the bridezilla......

Being dubbed "bridezilla" is a very legitimate fear of mine. I have seen it happen. The bridesmaid's getting different dresses from different dye lots. The labels aren't on the save the dates perfectly centered. The yard has trash in it where we're having the reception. I am guilty about getting on these things and in that sense I SUCK. And I am sorry. I want to have fun at the wedding. And that's what it's going to be about. I read this article the other day called "The 6 Signs of a Bridezilla", and I'd like to share them with you but their website is down. So I decided to make my own awesome, self-imposed, experienced, and incomplete list of what makes one a bridezilla:

Signs That You're Turning Into A Bridezilla

(P.S. You don't suck at life)

Your relationship with your friends changes, and not for the better.
Example: You feel like you can't trust your friends because they might be jealous of you, especially if they're not married themselves. They aren't jealous. They have their own shit to worry about. Truth is, they were your friends before you got engaged, and they will be after, but only if you don't act like a complete and total b#%^h to them.

You and your fiance fight constantly about the wedding. 
Example: You've delegated tasks to him and he'll get them done, but you nag and nag until he actually gets them done.

You are angry at more people than you'd like to admit. 
Example: Your mom wants to throw an engagement party for you but you can't help but feel she's just doing it to be a control freak. Really, she wants to do something nice for you and your fiance.

Your wedding revolves around "me, myself, and I".
Example: "I don't care what anyone else thinks. This is my wedding and I'm doing it my way." Time to have a little more open-mindedness, and openness in general, chicadee.

You're writing people off because they won't drop everything to do stuff for your wedding. This includes events leading up to it that "they're not making the time for".
Example: Your mom wants to help with invitations but can't drop what she's doing to race right over and help you label them. Or not everyone that's invited can make it to your engagement party or bridal shower.

You have way too much shit on your registry, things that you don't even need but want it just to say that you have it. 
Example: Sure, you love the shiny colorful $300 stand mixer with $200 in attachments, but you don't have room for it on your counter tops. Yet you still want to buy it because "everyone's doing it."

You expect your parents to pay for everything. 
Example: This needs no explanation.

You expect your parents to pay for anything. 
Example: This on the other hand, is something that a lot of brides wrestle with. I've been beaten up on The Knot about the situation with my father (I do sound like a spoiled brat whining for money in the post, don't worry, I've come to terms with it.) Just because someone doesn't want to pay for something doesn't make them a bad person though. It's the effort that your beloved mom and pop (or stepmom and stepdad) want to give that matters. Forget the dollar signs.
 
Your bridesmaids needs are less important then your own, always.
Example: One of my amazing bridesmaids recently lost her mother to cancer. It also happened to be the same week I got a call that the bridesmaid dress was being discontinued that she wanted. I didn't want her to think for one second about anything besides her family. I bought her dress, when she asked about it I said we'll figure it out later, be with your family right now. 
True story. Bridesmaids are going to need you just as much as you're going to need them, especially when it counts, whether it's something tragic or joyous. It's called friendship.
 
You micro-manage. Every. Little. Thing.
Example: It's when YOU can't let anyone else help. And you're going to need it. That's what your fiance/mom/future-mother-in-law/bridesmaids/planner/chihuahua/couch/vodka is for. Anything that helps and takes the stress off your back. Seriously, try it. You'll never look back.


You forget that it's not about a party, but it's about sharing an important day with loved ones.
Example: That's why you're having a wedding, duh! Yes, you need to make sure you and your fiance are happy, comfortable, etc. etc. But you're inviting these people, friends, family, whoever, whether it's 10 or 100 or 200 people, to celebrate WITH you. Not just FOR you.

My advice if you're turning into any or all of the above? Recognize what you're doing, own up to it, give a big hug and say the two most powerful sentences in the universe:

I'm sorry.

and

I love you.

(It applies to any and all.)



Good luck, and until next time.

xoxo

Rentals and Seating and Tents, Oh my!

If you're getting married on Nantucket chances are you've considered the option of renting a tent, particularly if you have a private residence to get married on. Or if you've wanted a beach wedding reception (in which case you need to get permitting.) We have decided to do our reception and ceremony in my parent's backyard. And in that case, we need a tent. With over 200 guests on our invite list (206 to be exact....) it's always fun plotting out a space that's never had that many people sat on it....probably ever. Plus, in this case, there's trees, grass, and bugs. YAY!
This is kinda how I feel about it.....

Nevermind the seating chart. I haven't even gotten there. This is quite possibly the most overwhelmed post I've made yet but for real, that's how I feel. I think I've been pretty good about handling one thing at a time.
I have done a little bit of looking around the internet for outdoor weddings and things to keep in mind. (None of them mention Deer ticks and Lyme's disease....which is prevalent on Nantucket) .
There are a few places on Nantucket to rent a tent from, which would have most likely made my life decidedly easier.

But we opted for a less expensive option - Taylor Rental is based on Cape Cod has been amazing to work with. They are putting all of their stuff on the ferry and charging us for the boat ride with no markup, and doing the same thing in my folk's backyard that anyone else would.

Only problem in this case is....well, there's a few. Trees. Location. And in our specific case, vicinity to the house. My parents don't want any guests wandering into their home, which I think is absolutely fair. But there's only one or two places this 40X80' tent can go, and the best of the two is right off their patio. I think we can make it work but MAN is it a task.
I sat down with my FMIL last night via skype and went over various layouts with her. We resolved that we should ask the experts at Taylor about their ideas for a layout, incorporating a few more things we didn't have in the original layout, etc.
If you're going with a wedding tent, I am telling you right now, make sure you have the people that are doing it complete a sight inspection. And for the love of pete, make it easy on yourself and don't even consider buying one of your own.

Good luck

Till next time.

Liz

Pets In Weddings

It's a fact. Nantucket Island <3s dogs. And dogs love Nantucket. Jason and I have three ruff and tumble little furballs. Somepeople don't really like to call our chihuahuas dogs, but really, Kodi has kicked some bigger dog's butt's in the past.

  

Yea, those are our three cheeseburgers. One thing I've learned over the years as a dog owner, though, is that there are certain times and places for these guys. They get overwhelmed in crowds (like their mama) and they are pretty protective. Oh, and because they're pretty much spoiled rotten, the extent of their obedience pretty much ends at "sit". To get them to walk down an aisle seems pretty much out of the question.

Our officiant,  the inspirational and amazing Rev. Ted Anderson, suggested with nix the doggies in the processional. And I agree. I love our dogs, I am that person who would stop their car in the middle of the road and pick up a stray animal just because. (and have) If you know me at all, you know my biggest passion is animal welfare. 

With that being said, the welfare of my pets isn't getting them all cutesy for the wedding. If I decide at the last minute they can handle it, maybe I will. But for now, I'm pretty well convinced it will make me and my future husband's lives a lot easier if they're happy resting at home on the couch. 

Besides, dogs don't know it's a wedding. They're not missing anything. 

Till next time.

Liz

Budgeting and Efficiency

Clearly if you're already here you're a bride on a budget. There's a TON of budget-bride websites out there (The Broke-Ass Bride is one of my personal favorites) but nothing so specific to resort-y town weddings that one said bride (*raising hand*) lives in. Sure they offer ideas like "Check out your local Walmart/K-Mart/Target" or "You can pick these up at your local Dollar Store". Well I'm sure many of you can. But living on this island we either have to take a chance (and cross our fingers) when we order something online (I live off of Amazon's Prime shipping), buy it here (which is totally do-able but I always say it's good to shop around). And in certain cases, where you're not getting ripped off, I am ALL for shopping local (like flowers, food, etc). It's nice to have that local accountability.
But in my case, doing it on a budget and on the island is hard.
Here's a few of my tips so far:

1. Utilize your off-island resources. If a FRIEND is going off island with their car and you need something, don't be afraid to ask them if they've got room. Or if you have someone to scope stuff out that's already off island, even better. My future mother in law (who's A-MAZING) has my number and knows to call if she she's anything and everything related to decor, ideas, etc. for the wedding and beyond. Thank goodness for camera phones!
   
   
2. Look up reviews. Ask around. Word of mouth on this island is one of the, if not THE best form of advertising here. Knowing your vendor, whether they're on Nantucket or beyond, is key. Do they have reviews saying goods showed up broken? Or a bride couldn't have done it without them? I would say that the Better Business Bureau is a good place to start, but it's SUCH a small town that many people wouldn't even have that under their belts. (Is it weird that the BBB just called me about getting into their listings as I was finishing up this blog? - AFTER I'd written about them.....)
   
   
3. Get a wedding planning book. I know it sounds cliche but you'll be thankful when you have one price written down in that binder that's oh-so-organized and then get another one and want to compare. Keep people's cards with ideas and pricing (if available) on them.
   
   
4. Try to get to some bridal expos. They're often free, or only a few bucks. Nantucket hasn't ever had one as long as I can remember, but Cape Cod and Boston do. I was lucky enough to meet my day-of coordinator, Connie, at the expo she planned a few months back. I'll post about getting the help you need some other time.
   
   
   
   
5. Negotiating and seeking sources through other means of payment. I am not saying be cheap. Because that never helps. In my case, I have done some things in trade for web design and graphic design. Not everyone has a background for trade though. Maybe your aunt works for a florist and they can just charge for materials. Or maybe your brother or groomsman can cut someone's lawn a few times in trade for your calligraphy (if you even decide to do that.) Be creative - chances are someone out there is willing to haggle their prices if they want to give you the business. I always say I'd rather a great client with a small contract over a bad experience with a bigger check. The people I want to deal with feel the same, I'd like to think. Especially out here, because it's more than a job to a lot of people, whether it's flowers, food, tailoring, etc. - it's something they take pride in. And trust me, you're going to want a happy vendor helping you out.
   
   
6. K.I.S.S. - Something I was taught whilst attending the prestigious Jacksonville University  ;)  All PR people know what this means - keep it simple stupid. Don't go for the elaborate chocolate fountains and ice sculptures of whales. But DO get a splurge here and there depending on your tastes. Keeping it simple for a budget wedding covers ALL aspects. (food, vendors, flowers, etc. etc.) By refining your taste to what you want, but keeping it simple and not over-the-top lavish, you'll get what you want. Promise. Just don't forget to K.I.S.S. :)
   
   
7. Last thing for staying within my budget is to have a Wedding Bank Account. We opened up one with our bank and it's a joint one, so we both contribute to it and pull out of it as we see fit when $ for wedding stuff (and ONLY wedding stuff) is needed. Like deposits, or something that's on sale that you know you've found THE BOMB price on. And then it's all in one place, no questions asked. I mean, what couple about to say their vows doens't want to talk about money? Pfffft.....Lord knows I hate talking about it, but clearly it's inevitable.

I don't want anyone cheaping out. It's just about being smart with your money. This is the most important day of my life so far and I'm going to make sure I didn't hold back because of money (within reason). There are certain things you are going to want to have that you "MUST" have. For instance, I LOVE the Nantucket Photo Booth. I know it's a little expensive for my budget but it's so cool to me to have something like a photo booth at our wedding. I want it. I'll find a way to pay for it. And it will be absolutely awesome because I said so.

And with that, I'll have to sacrifice my whale carved in ice. Oh well.

June's hot anyways.

I hope this is helpful. Would love your ideas if you've got 'em.

Until next time.

Liz

Where Guests Should Rest Their Heads

Where a guest stays is not necessarily the concern of the couple. However, Nantucket's got a pretty unique accommodation situation for anyone who's planning on staying overnight on the island. We may not be buying the hotel rooms or anything, but there is no Hilton or Ramada or Days Inn on this island. It's all B&Bs, inns, and private homes. There are a couple of "hotels", i.e. more than a dozen rooms to accommodate your guests. But the key is to be mindful of budget. We're offering guest suggestions on a low cost, middle of the road, and high end stay. We're also giving them the name of a real estate agent on the island should a couple of families want to go in on a home rental. Many of our guests have never been to Nantucket before, so, with our June wedding, they're planning on making a vacation out of it.
However, we're already running into people who are a bit, um, shocked, at the prices of some of the hotels and inns on the island. Someone who's used to spending $50-75 a night at a hotel off island is most likely going to experience sticker shock when they see a room is upwards of $300-400 per night. Of course, in many of these cases, you DO get what you pay for.
Like a room like this with a view overlooking the harbor:

(That's courtesy of the Wauwinet Hotel, one of the Nantucket Island Resort properties). There's also plenty of private homes and B&B's, owned locally. One of my personal faves is The Brass Lantern Inn. Owner Michelle was a good client of mine when I worked at Plum TV and, if you love your pets like I do, she's pet friendly. The building has a really great location, downtown. Another downtown fave (and former client of mine) is The Anchor Inn, owned by Anne & Charles Balas. Very nice couple, and super cool, historic-Nantucket building. In the case of our wedding, downtown is a pretty far trip from where our venue will be, but nevertheless, a nice idea for someone who hasn't been to the island before and wants to experience the downtown historic district.

Where ever your guests are coming from, though, chance are they are going to have to stay overnight for your wedding. The last boat leaves around 11pm during the summer months. And I don't plan on our wedding ending until at least 1am. I wouldn't want my guests feeling like they couldn't stay either. Best thing I can tell you is to shop around for a variety of prices to offer your guests.
AND make sure to tell your guest to do it in advance. Once places book up on Nantucket, they're booked. You can't hop over the Marriot in the next town. It doesn't work like that here.
(No offense to Marriot).

Until next time.

Liz

Wedding Flowers: Local or Internet?

Flowers can either be a girls best friend for the wedding or her worst nightmare. In my case, it's both. I am in love with flowers all shapes and sizes and colors (and prices). I worked for one of Nantucket's most amazing and talented florists for a few years and saw some of the most magnificently decorated weddings I'll probably ever see in my lifetime. She would use everything from pink peony, antique hydrangea, green carnations (yes, GREEN), deep purple cala lillies, spiky things that I can't remember the name of, succulents, and even an occasional artichoke or two. The French garden-y style is beautiful. Yet expensive. I keep reading over and over again that brides #1 thing they spent more than they wish they had on was their flowers. Then there's the allergies. And the petals. And the water and potential spillage.

But how can you say no to these?

 

However. Comma. Pause. Peony are some of the more expensive ones. I would say roses but I know there's an allergy in my family and I don't want anyone to be miserable huffing and puffing and sneezing at the wedding.
So perhaps something less fragrant? There's always the local fare here on Nantucket:

(Cue the poppin' pink hydrangea) The coolest thing about these is that I think my family and future-family members with allergies will be okay. Plus, they are hardy, and you can find them just about anywhere on Nantucket in the summer. I may even end up clipping some out of our garden for the sake of saving some $. There's also farmers markets and local farms that carry them in regular supply throughout the summer months. Hopefully mine will be available in the end of June.

The last thing I would say I'm down with is Calalilies. They are soft, elegant, and singular. (Or can be bunched)

I've decided to utilize a local farm (Moors End Farm, right down the road from where the wedding will be) because, frankly, flowers, like food, are much better when accounted for locally. If something dies, or if I want to preview it beforehand, I can do it down the street. I don't have to take a chance at hiring some off-island vendor for something that could potentially expire.

I did strongly consider buying flowers online, especially for the pricing. The winner, by far, is Grower's Box (www.growersbox.com). I had a few people who used them tell me they were awesome. And I still may for an assortment, but as for my bouquet, I'd like to have that arranged locally. I think it makes it that much more personalized and special. I will say it over and over, there is NO HARM mixing and matching vendors within one category to save a few bucks. If you have one caterer who can also do your alcohol, but it's cheaper to go with hiring your own bartenders and getting your own booze, then I say do it. After all, it's your day (disclaimer here is the insurance and venue issues when it comes to pouring alcohol, use your discretion and education with that one. I'll post about those issues some other time when I feel like talking about something a little heavier than flowers).

Back to your regularly scheduled program:

We've pretty much decided to keep flower arrangements minimal. There's the beach theme (shocker) but nothing too crazy or ornate.
Here's an idea of a cool, floral incorporated (but not saturated) table arrangement. (Thanks Angelica for finding this!!)

Of course, I'm going to have darker sand, and pink hydrangea. Might throw a few candles around it for effect with a mirror underneath to create a nice, romantic feel come nightfall.

Here's another idea I ran across for a beach theme/greenry incorporation:

A little less on the greenery, a little more on the sand. Luckily, living on an island, sand isn't very expensive (hardy har har). And the vases you could scoop up at the dollar store or ebay.

Until next time!

Liz

Wedding Day Shape: Living on this Island

I'll be the first to admit I need to be in better shape. My weight has fluctuated from 107 lbs to 155 lbs in the last 7 years. I'm 26 (about to be 27) and I know I could take better care of myself. There are so many fad diets out there it's hard to decipher what's legitimate and what's not. I think the biggest thing for me is to know that I'll have the endurance to go all day long on the big day. I don't forsee myself wanting to take a nap or anything, but I certainly don't want to feel burnt out by the time I say "I do."

The biggest thing I keep reading EVERYWHERE is to drink enough water. Raise your hand if you don't drink enough water *raises hand*......yea......I know I need to get better about that.
Also, another key thing that is everywhere is eating enough fruits and veggies. Like you can NEVER have enough fruits and vegetables. No one out there will tell you to put that carrot stick down, or don't eat that apple. But of course, someone out there should be slapping that pizza slice or french fry out of your hand. Not all of us have someone that will do that to us. (Lord knows if Jason tried so much as to touch the french fry in my hand I'd snarl or something crazy like that....)

Above all else, it's about making a CONSCIOUS decision every time you eat.

And then there's exercise. If you're like me on this island as a year-rounder, you probably work like 2,3,4 jobs just to survive (and pay for the upcoming wedding). And as much as I love the amazing people who run the Nantucket Health Club, I don't have it in my budget a year in advance to get a membership. However, if you can afford it, I say go for it. They are all really awesome people over there and offer a lot of great classes, advice and help. Another place I adore is the Nantucket Yoga Room.

They have classes every single day of the week for all levels, year round. I am a huge fan of yoga and will find that $15 for the class when I have time (I think that's what they're still charging per class, you can also buy cards) The $15 to me = peace of mind and a healthy body.

In the summer months on Nantucket we're fortunate enough to have beautiful bike paths to be able to walk on. If you've got dogs, that's an added plus. There's also Tupancy that allows dogs, and our dogs LOVE going out there.

Best part about those last couple - they're all free. And if you have a bike or a buddy to go with, even more of a reason to go. And if you don't know where Tupancy is, here's a link.

There's a few things out there to help you out that I am a huge fan of:

• For an online resource to count calories, track exercise, and keep motivated (kind of like Weight Watchers, but FREE) there's Sparkpeople (there's also a free app for them for the iPhone) 
• For healthy recipes from the same folks that you can plug into your daily routine there's Sparkpeople's Spark Recipes (an app is available for free with the iPhone a well)
• Daily Mile (iPhone app)
• Calorie Counter (iPhone app)

Another thing I forgot to mention is, if you've got Comcast's On Demand service, there's a TON of exercise TV things out there. I'm a fan of the 10 lbs to Lose series. I did the Vinyasa Yoga the other day and I felt like I'd been to a yoga class. It was pretty awesome.

Until next time.

Liz